Grandma Is Dating!
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Grandma Is Dating!
When Lena, 52,
began dating, her son, Paul, joined the same dating site. Together,
mother and son set out to find love. Lena’s family was concerned
for her. After 30 years of marriage, she was very vulnerable. What
did she know about dating or sexually transmitted diseases? Lena
knew one thing: love does not have a best-before date.
Lena is one
of many fiery over 50 dames with lots of life. The idea of dating
put a sparkle into her eyes. After a few unproductive “let’s meet
for coffee” dates, she struck gold! Ryan, whom she met in her doctor’s
waiting room, was everything she hoped for. A widower without children,
Ryan was like a breath of fresh air. He put romance and zest into
her life. They fell madly in love and lived happily ever after.
This is a dating
dream come true for most older, single women. Today, dating over
50 is just as common as dating at a younger age. However, there
are profound differences in life circumstances and experiences.
Unfortunately, not all dating adventures of older singles have happy
endings. Dating at a mature age comes with baggage. Ex wives, stepchildren,
step-grandchildren, in-laws, lifestyles or commitments, just to
name a few. This baggage prevents many singles from creating close
relationships. Yet, there are good news for all mature singles,
who have not found their “one and only”:
As a mature
person you have qualities such patience, integrity, and wisdom and
are much better equipped for relationship success than the younger
generation. Use exactly those qualities to find love and avoid silly
dating etiquettes. While dating can be fun and highly entertaining,
for most singles over 50 it is about finding a life-mate. Regardless
of your relationship history, love can last the second time around.
Just trust your instinct and follow these common sense tips:
about yourself. Naturally you want to paint your very best picture,
but the key to finding a compatible love is being authentic instead
of pretending. Being real may not guarantee a huge number of dates,
but at this stage in your life it is about quality, not quantity.
You are mature and don’t need a black book filled with admirers.
a first date is like a fishing trip. Both parties want to determine
if there is enough interest for a second date. Be on time and be
interested in your date. Share your likes and dislikes openly. By
all means give each other a chance, but if you are not interested,
make it easy to call the quits. Treat your date the way you would
want to be treated.
TIME is of essence.
This begs the
question as to when a relationship begins. You have graduated from
the coffee shop to seeing a movie. He wined and dinned you and now
invites you to a barbeque with friends. While this is not a marriage
proposal, it is nevertheless personal. No red flags have popped
up yet and you accept the invitation. This has the potential for
a relationship. Now is the time to get to know him instead of looking
over the shoulder for other suitors. Here is why: often relationships
between dating singles never develop because they are occupied with
multiple dates. Sleeping with multiple dates is morally irresponsible
to each one. Be as responsible as you would be to your best friend,
because he may be that some day.
Love only happens when you are real
Have you ever
found yourself laughing simply because everyone else did? Told someone
had a fabulous time when you didn’t or said: “I love you” when you
didn’t mean it? Did you ever do something inconsistent with your
true self just to please someone or get what you wanted? Of course
we all have. We have lost the bravery to be real! For many there
is quite a gap between the person inside and the person we present
to the world. In the competitive world of dating misrepresentation
is at an all time high.
If you seek
love, forget about how to make him fall in love with you. Forget
about Mars and Venus, in the real world we are all human beings
first, men and women second. Most singles over 50 want to love and
belong. Wear what makes you feel like a million dollar babe, not
what you think impresses him. While you are not to disclose your
sexual history on a first date, be straightforward on topics that
you are comfortable with. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Be authentic and be honest! Don’t waste your precious time pretending
to be what you are not. You may not land many second dates, but
at this stage it is about quality, not quantity. Love only happens
when you are real.
universal principles are no-fail dating concepts that keep you sane
and on the road to love. To boost your dating success, Ivana Trump
is adding a bonus for all the fabulous and mature women. In her
new TV show she introduces older women to younger men. Sounds like
the Demi Moore style of dating is gaining popularity. With quite
a few older men dating much younger women, Ivana is orchestrating
a balancing act. Love has no boundaries, is ageless and keeps you
young. Maybe Ivana’s reality show will get you in the groove.
2004 Allie Ochs
Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are
You Fit to Love? Her book has received the honorable mention
at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio
and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her
and take the Fit 2 Love test.
You Fit to Love? : A Radically Different Approach to Successful
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