Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life’s greatest challenges.
After all, forever is a long time. You want to make the right decision.
Dating itself can be really trying. It can be hard to find the right people. What if they don’t share the same values and beliefs that you do? How do you handle that and when?
Wouldn’t it be easier to know ahead of time that they are Jewish, just like you?
Wouldn’t it be easier to know their respect for God and other people, values and beliefs, mirrors your own?
I know my own dating experiences were trying at best. My stomach used to churn before hand. I’d be so excited to meet new people, only to cringe as that feeling was replaced with absolute, crushing hopelessness as the person demonstrated a trait I knew I just wouldn’t be able to tolerate.
If they said something snide about children and my being a parent, I knew it was over. If they weren’t pet people, it was going nowhere.
If they were vulgar, ignorant, not funny or if God didn’t have a place in their life like mine, what could we possibly have in common?
A few incidents come to my mind. The dental hygienist who chain-smoked. The girl who didn’t shave her legs, her armpits and didn’t wear deodorant (it took a few dates to begin to figure this one out).
I remember one Friday night where I thought I had met someone with real potential. She was highly educated, respectful and thoughtful. Several dates later, she showed up at my house with an open bottle of wine, already drunk. And then she stormed off when I mentioned concern that she had been drinking and driving.
So how do you find the right people? How do you at least give a first date a chance, by taking the time to get to know people coming from a similar place as you?
The workplace can be a popular source, if there are lots of employees and some that believe in God as you do.
But what if you work too much and don’t have time to meet people? Or, what if meeting people is quite a scary experience, and you’d like to find a ‘like minded group of people’, that you can get to know via email first before actually meeting?
The answer, more and more, is the Internet. Never before has the world’s millions of Jewish singles, been able to find sources of other singles who are just like they are.
The best part is these specific sources of singles can be pre-determined ahead of time. For instance, you’ll know you’re talking to someone who is Jewish, because you found their ad on a Jewish dating site.
Make sense? Much easier than trying to make these discoveries of values and beliefs over coffee or dinner.
You can further refine your search by specific age ranges, kids or not, divorced or not, white, black, location, income level, career path, Yankees fan or not (very important!), etc.
I finally found my Soul Mate through a personals ad on a website. We lived in different communities but on the same island (20 miles apart). More importantly, our hearts, beliefs, values, sense of humor and general outlooks were very similar. And we knew that before ever meeting.
It was wonderful courtship. We married the next year. And to this day, many years later, we laugh that the first date never ended.
You too can have this Jewish dating experience, when you find a source of like-minded people to start to get to know.