Can Be Less Stressful
by Martin Smith
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Online Ė Can Be Less Stressful
Dating is a
challenge at any age and for both women and men. Ladies worry about
your hair, your make-up and whether you look fat. The men worry
is their tie straight (if they wear one), do they have enough money,
and whether or not you will like him. Basically both sexes are worrying
about whether they are liked and accepted.
Believe it or
not there are things that you can do to make your date less stressful.
Make your date feel comfortable. If you are throwing questions at
your date, they may feel like they are on trial. Let the conversation
happen naturally and most of your questions open-ended. This means
that while yes and no questions while used sparingly, are fine,
they can lead to stilted conversation and tension. Talk about all
kinds of topics and try to engage your date in the conversation.
Never force conversation.
Hereís one you
hear all the time. ďRelax, be yourself, youíll be fineĒ Share your
interests but listen to your date too. Both of you will probably
be nervous so try to relax. One of the most important things you
can do is be on time either to pick-up your date or be ready to
be picked up.
There are things
you should definitely not do on a date. Donít talk about yourself
all night and donít complain and whine about your ex, your date
will wonder what you will say about them. Donít ask too many questions-itís
not the Inquisition. Donít be late picking up your date or in getting
ready. Most importantly, donít forget to thank your date for a good
Dating is about
getting to know your date and letting them get to know you. Try
doing something different that you havenít tried up until now. Alternate
deciding where you are going, it could relieve a lot of tension
and you just might learn something very interesting.
One other very
important, in fact, it could be most important, is dating safety.
There are so many ways to meet someone now that itís fairly easy
for anyone with less than good intentions to be able to follow through
on them. The suggestions that follow while addressed to ladies,
men pay attention because reality is, is that you too could be a
For the first
few dates go to public places and not isolated ones. If you are
meeting someone that you have been talking to online there are several
things you can do to keep yourself safe aside from meeting in a
very public place. Donít go alone, have a friend or two go to the
same place and sit where they can see you and your table at all
You might consider
this even if you have met your date already. The nice guy you met
at the library may seem sweet but he may not be. If you have any
kind of uncomfortable feeling, listen to your gut and do what you
have to do to be safe.
Try to learn
about your date. Where does he live? What kind of work does he do?
If he doesnít want to tell you I wouldnít consider dating him a
second time. He may be very nice and the most loving person but
be careful if he wonít share some personal information. I suppose
giving too much information could be a warning signal too.
of date rape drugs well they can not only be put in alcoholic beverages
but in soda, tea, coffee, or water. Actually they can go in almost
any beverage. This is one reason to have someone you know nearby
so that if you leave the table they can kind of keep an eye the
table (and your date). Watch how much alcohol you consume. You want
to keep your wits about you at all times and if you are driving
this is even more important.
Use any safety
devices that you can (and ones that are legal). The most important
tool anyone can have is a cell phone, whether man or woman your
can break down or be in a crash. The cell phone will bring help
that much quicker. You should have it programmed so that you only
have to press one number for 911.
Many can be
programmed that when you hold down a particular key 911 is automatically
dialed. Most cell phones have GPS capability. Pepper sprays, high
decibel personal alarms are two more safety tools. Check with your
local police and attorney to see what is acceptable in your community.
Many areas have banned pepper sprays.
safety advice whether dating or not is never go anywhere unfamiliar
alone. Always wear your seatbelt. If someone grabs you with a weapon
and ordered to go with him or her it is suggested by some that you
take a stand right away. Scream, yell, bite, or kick or do anything
you have to do to become safe.
Go for the groin
and the eyes. Shove the heel of your hand into the assailantís nose
very hard. Yell Fire!! People will react to fire rather than help.
This next thing
is something to do in almost any situation not just dating. When
giving out personal information to someone be careful how much you
I remember when
keeping yourself safe wasnít such a serious matter. There are new
ways to overpower someone and to cover up a crime. Keep yourself
safe, and lastly always let someone know where you are planning
to go and if you can the person that will accompany you.
Smith is a successful freelance writer providing advice and tips
on a variety of subjects if you need tips on Dating Online His numerous
articles provide a wonderfully researched resource of interesting
and relevant information. www.no1-dating.com.
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