In many instances, we all are “gun shy” after a short-or long- term relationship, because being hurt or feeling bad is not an option.
This stinging feeling tends to guide us as we clamor for something new or fresh. It’s as if the bricks and mortar are suddenly out and there is a new fortress built conveniently around your heart.
So when we do meet someone new, how do we know when a bright future is on the horizon? Furthermore, if we think we have it, how do we really know?
The heart can be deceptive and initially in a relationship, it can be very lustful swaying the mind to a sort of natural high. This period is just that, a period that both people go through that intentionally attempts to highlight your positives and suppress your negatives towards the perspective mate.
We all want to put our best foot forward in any given situation whether it’s landing a special mate or a good job. However, when your worst foot inevitably takes place of your best one is when the real test commences.
In order to properly judge another, one must be able to accept judging themselves!
None of us are perfect and everyone has flaws, but to what degree can we accept them not only in others, but ourselves?
If we all received a piece of paper with a large T on it, and on either side it listed the pros and cons as the average person would perceive positives and negatives, we would most certainly have a “leg up” in the filtering mode.
Most everyone filters through specific traits and qualities when dating anyone to gauge compatibility and get a better handle on their odds. So when your filter gets clogged up after a certain amount of time with their “personal luggage” as most call it, then it’s time to move on, right?
Well, that depends on you obviously….
These negative aspects usually are not revealed until some type of commitment has been agreed upon by both people. Then, the facade and veneer of “look, I have so many positives and I’m so fun and cool to be around”, evaporates and real life sets in.
It’s a deal; or it’s deal breaker time…..
When all the chips have fallen and the proverbial probationary period of lustful highs comes to an screeching end; a couple is left with what they should have came into the relationship with in the first place………themselves!
An assessment of sorts or a comprehensive evaluation is undertaken in some segregated part of your mind and the conversation is as follows:
“Is this man or woman worth my time? Are we going to make each other better for being with each other, or does he or she make me feel something I have never felt before?” If it’s not the exact internal questions, they certainly are not far off.
If our intentions are truly built on a “good hearted foundation” then not hiding the truth about ourselves when meeting others is a simple task. We can love who we are inside and then proceed to market that love so someone else can enjoy it.
However, we hide and not reveal what we know are our negatives without working internally on them before proceeding into another relationship, where we can inject them all over again. If we ironed out our problems before delving full fledged into another committed relationship, then we wouldn’t have to “put our best foot forward because we would have both feet already firmly on the ground.”
It all starts with you and taking personal accountability for your own heart and what you truly seek in a perspective mate.
False impressions of all positives about yourself put a dishonest spin into a relationship from the get go and point it for a tenuous at best, future.
When you get to know yourself inside and out and what you truly want from a relationship is when you will know if a relationship has a future or not.
Work on eliminating your negative personality traits before ever pursuing a committed relationship. Then attempt to efficiently read your perspective mate’s honest intentions before you invest too much time. If done correctly, you will have increased your odds exponentially for a long term relationship and stacked them confidently in your favor.