How do I
draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of
books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a
minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect
ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your
front door. It doesn't happen like that. You can open your heart
and mind to finding a beautiful loving relationship, but chances
are that using the word soulmate will almost jinx you from finding
of us, when we think of a soulmate, we think of someone perfect.
Someone who is gorgeous, brilliant, funny, naturally happy and
kind. We think of someone who wants exactly the same things
out of life that we want. We picture a meeting right out of
the movies where both parties meet on the street and instantly
fall madly head over heels in love. We think that there will
never be any conflict beyond a quaint debate over what colors
to paint the baby's nursery. We imagine lovemaking that is so
phenomenally perfect the first time that one cries from the
sheer artistic beauty and telepathic oneness. All problems and
challenges in our lives will suddenly melt away into faint memories
because our soulmate has arrived and their presence alone is
so cosmic and amazing that all else pales in comparison.
if I say my affirmations with enough conviction, gold coins
are going to start growing instead of dandelions in my yard
too! Wake up! If you're dreaming of that kind of a soulmate,
then you need to rent some good movies and call it good. Love
doesn't go like that and you know better. Look at it this way....
You are the other half of that equation. Let's be serious. If
you are someone's soulmate, and they find you. Are you capable
of being that incredibly flawless and perfect for them? No of
course not. Nor are they. Soulmates are as mixed up and weird
as you are. They may have the same flaws as you do or completely
different ones. If you are holding out for that fantasy, then
you are playing a psychological game with yourself. You have
created an impossible dream to hide behind so that you don't
have to really risk falling in love with a real live human being,
warts and all.
Yes, I do
believe that there are extremely rare cases where one 'feels'
or 'knows' there is a certain person they are meant to find
and they are haunted by the need to find that one person. They
are doomed to hunt for that needle in a hay stack. But let's
get serious, that isn't the norm. We have all heard so much
about soulmates that we just think it would be really cool.
Well it's not. It sucks to spend a lifetime passing up real
love with real people because somewhere out there is this voice
calling your name. You doubt your sanity and spend most of your
life lonely and searching. Don't do it. Find real love with
definition of soulmate. Call to yourself someone who is open
and real. Call to yourself someone who is genuine and capable
of love on a real everyday level in a real everyday world where
people get up and go to work and pay bills. Call to yourself
someone who knows how to show and express their love without
manipulation and head games. Call forth a forever kind of love.
Call forth a best friend that you can sit with in your rocking
chair on the front porch when you're too old to make love anymore.
Call someone who loves you enough to kick you in the butt when
you're screwing up. Call forth someone who will shout from the
rooftop when you are deserving of praise too. Call forth someone
who is a loyal and faithful lover willing to learn and grow
with you behind closed doors. Leave the rest to fate. Don't
define them. Don't imagine the look of their face or the color
of their eyes. Don't predetermine anything else about them.
Let them be exactly who they are and you be who you are. Then
work on making yourself into the same type of person that I
just described so that you'll be worthy of them when they show
go through your ceremonies, affirmations, and prayers for your
soulmate, ask the heavens to help you to be open minded and
to not judge what that person is supposed to be. Ask for a feeling
of their essence so that you'll recognize it when you see them
for real. How does it feel to be with them? If you had a perfect
ideal partner, you wouldn't be able to relax and be yourself
because they were not of the same energy as you. Raise your
own self to be your best and ask for a partner that matches
your level of development so that you can grow together. You
don't want to have a partner who is in every way superior to
you because they're perfect and you're only human do you?
can lighten up your definition of what a soulmate is, then you
really shouldn't use the term. It will only bring you loneliness
and heartache if you insist on waiting for perfection. The best
advise I can give you if you want an amazing forever kind of
love is to be healthy, happy, and independent. Quit worrying
about when love will find you and get busy with living your
life. Keep your heart open and your eyes open for the possible
love of a lifetime, but don't obsess over it. What is meant
to be will be whether you call it to you or not. Call for help
being a beautiful soul. Trust that the rest will fall into place
in it's own perfect time.
2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge