uncomfortable in the stomach, cold sweaty palm, trembling of
legs, losing the ability to think correctly when approaching
a girl? Hate yourself for not able to overcome this problem?
Oh– please do not feel so. Believe me, you are not the only
one facing this problem. In fact, this is a very common problem
in man. Everyone is just like you, not willing to admit it openly,
having the fear of being laughed and mocked by others. But there's
absolutely nothing wrong for feeling so.
a girl, asking her out for a date isn't really as scary as you
thought. For all you may know, the girl is just as or even more
nervous than you. Some guys are born with the natural flair
with girls while some guys are just born shy. But that doesn't
mean that they can't do as good. In fact, shy men are whom most
girls are looking for. It's a pity that all the good men are
hiding up leaving the girls with not much of a choice but to
hang out with the jerks.
So how can
you overcome your fear? Well, this is something that I can't
help you. You simply just got to make that first step, that
very first attempt. Hmm– still feeling too nervous? Ok, perhaps
we should take things a little slower. There's actually no urgent
need for you to just walk up to a girl and ask her out for a
date. Too sudden? You might just scare her off. But please,
don't take for ages before someone else try to cut in the queue.
I don't suppose you memorized your whole school textbook before
going for your exams? It's the same thing, you don't need to
wait till you fully overcome your fear before you approach a
I should believe the both of you are at least like normal friends?
Classmates? Colleagues or–? Whatever it is, grab any chance
to get closer to her. Too shy to strike a conversation with
her? Look her in the eyes, drop her a nice warm smile. Make
her notice you, make her remember you, let her know that you
exist! You be surprised, your eyes can actually work more wonders
than to words at times. All these will eventually boost the
chance of success when approaching her at a later date. She
will naturally feel more comfortable with you than to be approached
by a total stranger.
that you have done all of what you can do, no more excuses from
you! Stop hiding up, it's time to make your move. Now, I want
you to follow very closely after me. Take a deep breathe, gather
all your courage. She is sitting all alone on the bench under
the tree. Slowly and steady, you walk towards her. Yes, step
by step getting nearer and nearer. She turns and saw you approaching.
Remember, she has seen you before, she knows who you are. Now
look her in the eyes, smile at her. She greets you with her
nice gentle smile. One final step, you stop in front of her.
"Hi, what a coincides to see you here", you say to her in a
nice, friendly voice. "Busy with anything now? How about a little
coffee together?" Smiling so sweetly at you she replies teasingly,
"Your treat? Sure why not–?"
still with me? Ha sorry, was just trying to play a little game
of hypnosis with you. Did I fare horribly? Well anyway, it would
really be so lovely if things were as what I had described?
Why not? Why couldn't it be possible? You see, the problem with
most people is that they always tend to create negative thoughts;
creating an image of failure, an image of been rejected in their
mind before things actually happen. Subconsciously, they have
actually rejected themselves before anyone else could even reject
them and yes, the likely chances is they will fail. Just like
in soccer matches, when David Beckham scores from his spectacular
free kick? If at the moment before he even lifts his feet, he
was creating the image of ballooning away the ball over the
goal post in his mind, you think he will score? So why not picture
things the other way round, telling your mind; yourself that
you are going to make it? It will definitely boosts your confidence
and the chance of a success.
you are feeling more comfortable and less nervous now? Well,
the chance of being rejected is nonetheless still there. So
what should happen if you really fail? You should learn to graciously
accept the rejection. It's perfectly alright, my friend. At
least you know you have tried? You finally pluck out that courage?
There's nothing to feel ashamed of. Picture it this way, you
are the one being approached instead. Approached by a girl that's
not of your type. You would have rejected her as well, wouldn't
you? But would you make fun of her, laugh and mock at her? I
should believe not? Instead, you would have felt happy and thankful
to her; it's just a pity that she's not your type of girl? That's
exactly how the girl whom rejected you would have felt too,
it's just a pity that you are not her type of guy. Nobody would
be laughing at you, probably they would be admiring you for
your courage instead.
might be rejected but believe me, once there's a first time
the rest will just come naturally. You might be sad and disappointed
but once you get yourself back, you would have remembered that
it wasn't as scary what you had thought. You would have probably
already overcome a great deal of your fear. It's just like the
first time driving out on your own after getting your license.
For some unlucky ones, meeting up with a little accident. But
that doesn't stop them from driving on? In fact, experiences
were gained. So was confidence along the way, driving more smoothly,
stepping even harder on the accelerator?
is part and parcel of life. It's not only in love that you get
rejected. In life, you are faced with more rejections. Rejections
from your work? Your boss? Your business associates? Even your
own family? But that won't stop you from moving on in life?
not least, there's one thing you have to accept. The fact that,
you are a man! It's afterall still the guy's job to do the asking.
You just gotta do it and I am sure you can do it yeah?