I’m a sucker
for romance. I love movies where boy meets girl, boy loses girl
and, against all odds, they find their way back to each other.
Or films about star-crossed lovers, as in Bridges of Madison
County, who return to their separate lives forever changed.
life, though, I have learned to be wary of my own longing to
be swept away. It’s fun being pursued by an ardent admirer and
flattering to be wined and dined in style. But after a few months
I ask myself if all this attention leads to anything more than
a romp (or two) in bed.
of changing times men are still the hunters – they like to give
chase and use all their wiles to win the women they desire.
They may want to develop a long-term relationship but sometimes
it’s the thrill of the chase they enjoy most of all.
the other hand, can be lured by romance itself. We want the
whole fantasy usually in the form of an attractive, charismatic
man who is more successful than us – and that includes “happily
In a new
relationship we believe a man when he claims to miss us and
how he’ll do anything to keep us in his life. If we are physically
intimate with him, those potent love chemicals (like pheromones)
kick in, making him even more desirable. We offer him our bodies
and our hearts. If things have moved too quickly, we may find
that the man we are starting to love is no knight. If he wears
armour, it is to protect himself, and as complications arise
he may very well jump on his horse and ride away.
I find that
it takes at least six months to get to know someone. In courtship
a man will show you what he assumes you want to see and will
do everything in his power to keep your interest. It is difficult
for you to judge how sincere he really is.
a few ways to tell if your romance will last:
his actions say
is not in what he SAYS but in what he DOES. Does he call when
he says he will? Is he punctual? He may say that he loves you,
but does he give you importance in his life– or do things like
watching football with the boys get a higher priority?
women make excuses for their men and accept bad behaviour. The
truth is, his actions always speak for him. You just need to
pays attention to you
recall how you take your coffee, know your favourite cuisine,
and just where you need your back rubbed? Is he quick to offer
assistance when you need help or do you have to ask him repeatedly
before he steps in? A man who really cares about you will use
every opportunity to show it.
is the focus of conversation?
conversations usually center around him and his concerns? An
interested man wants to know everything about you, from how
your day went to what is currently on your mind. Does he sound
bored or disinterested when you discuss your work or relationship
problems? Not a good sign!
too, of someone who puts you down to build himself up. No matter
how “helpful” he appears, pay attention to how his comments
make you feel.
he treats others
he treat his co-workers, family members, or a stranger asking
for directions? Pay particular attention to how he speaks to
people who are serving him, such as a waitress in a restaurant.
Is he polite or arrogant and condescending? Ouch! This is his
true character peeking through.
consider him your friend
Is he only
a lover? Or can you turn to him when you need a shoulder to
lean on? Romance with friendship at its core has a much greater
chance for success.
In the grips
of romance, it is easy to be lured by extravagant outings or
gifts. However, a man who constantly tries to impress is usually
insecure and unable to connect at a deeper level. One day the
novelty of getting to know each other will fade and you will
be left with each other. What becomes important is how likable
your man really is and how honestly you can communicate with
For me romance
can only last if I perceive my partner as a confident and considerate
person whom I can trust. He must prove that he cares by his
actions, whether he calls just to hear the sound of my voice
or makes time for me in his hectic schedule.
right man, I feel loved and appreciated – and that’s fertile
ground for romance.