and the Single Mom
by Teri Worten
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and the Single Mom
more so than anyone, have to be exceedingly careful about the type
of man they select as life-long partners. No sensible woman wants
to be judged soley on her appearence or sex appeal, right? Moreoever,
who would even want a man mostly interested in sex without a real
commitment, right again? These questions create an age-old conundrum.
Exactly, how does one find a guy who loves them and only wants what
is best for them? Let's take it up a notch. How do you resist those
natural impulses to throw caution to the wind and break down and
A wise person
once said, Words carry a little weight, but actions truly reveal
the entireity of a matter. When you meet a new guy, be especially
observant of the kinds of things he talks about. Carefully listen
to his conversation. Remember, you can usually learn plenty about
a person simply by listening to them. If the conversation is laced
with sexual innuendos, that is your "red flag".
Be leery of
physical contact early in the relationship. Someone who is overly
"touchy" after knowing you for a short amount of time might have
less than honorable motives. Yes, some guys are touchy feely
with women. But think for a moment, if you marry a man who can't
keep his hands to himself, you are asking for trouble!
Let get real,
here. As single moms, it's only natural to enjoy the attention of
men, but don t allow loneliness or insecurity to propel you into
a relationship that may bring pain later. You are far too precious
for that, single mom.
Take your time
with the physical stuff. Approach the dating relationship the same
way you would with a platonic friend. Save the kissing or hugging
until you really know the guy.
We often give
away far too much too soon in our interpersonal encounters. Don't
be the type woman that every guy in the neighborhood knows what
it s like to kiss and squeeze. Even if he says he loves you, remember
that love waits. Love is patient, love is kind and real love will
never disrespect you. Slow down, enjoy the progression of the new
relationship. There's no fire, so hold your horses!
God has a plan
and it's not about pointless denial. His plan is first marriage
and then sex after the legal, spiritual and emotional commitment.
When you create a list of rules for your kids, you do so to protect
them, right? Well, God is no different. He loves you and wants to
spare you unnecessary grief.
If for whatever
reason, you have engaged in a sexual relationship outside of marriage
understand that God still loves you. Our blunders don't make Him
love us any less. He desperately wants to put the pieces of your
life back together and make all things new again.
"our way", guided by our emotions or feelings, always brings disappointment
and shame. However, God specializes in such wounds. Allow Him to
cleanse your pain and remove your guilt (read 1John 1:9). If you
confess your sin, He WILL forgive it. He s promised. The next and
most crucial step is for you to forgive yourself.
rely on us to model appropriate moral standards. Most wise moms
advise their teens to abstain from sex before marriage. We carefully
explain to them the dangers of sex "now a days". We share how abstinence
protects us against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.
Taking this into account, why should we want anything different
for ourselves? Our children are growing up so fast. Our time with
them is very precious. Let's not taint it recovering from unecessary
love-related heartbreaks. Nothing is worse for children than to
see their moms wounded, hurt, bitter and dejected.
My mother recently
told me, (relative to my health) 'a good mother takes supreme care
of herself for the sake of her children'. I think the same applies
to emotional health. Don t run the risk of giving your body and
soul away only to be left with an empty bed and broken heart. It
really isn't worth it, single mom.
Worten is a freelance writer as well as the founder of the online
contemporary magazine for single moms and all women - Gotta Be Me
Girl.Com! You can visit her site and read more articles at www.gottabemegirl.com.
Or you can contact her at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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