Loves Me, She Loves Me Not?
Kloudiia Tay IIng
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Loves Me, She Loves Me Not?
I received a
question from a male reader that goes like this:
"How do we know
the other person likes you before the 2 of us can progress to the
next stage? What are the actions/reactions to look out for?"
women are commonly compared to water where the fickle-mindedness
is innate, however, when the matters of the heart are concerned,
we are one faithful and loyal party you can ever find. Which means,
if we have feelings for a man, even if we do not tell him directly,
we will certainly, even if subtlely but surely let him in through
our words and actions that he means much more than just an ordinary
friend to us. Here are some tips and rule-of-thumbs that you guys
can use as a yardstick to measure the degree of her fondness for
you. (Note however that this may not apply to every situation or
everyone, especially where body language is concerned, it is of
ultra importance that you have to read it as a whole, and not that
Note also that
I am making an assumption here that the guy in question is acquainted
with the girl whom he fancies, and this is not about picking up
or befriending her.
most if not all of your text messages / short message send (sms)
as we call it in Singapore
Yes, and it
applies as and when you send it. Even if it comes in the middle
of the night, if she's still awake, and if she likes you, she will
usually give you a reply. In those instances when she didn't reply
you or replied late, she would give you the reason for the delay,
for example stuck in a meeting, or rushing some work in the office,
or she didn't hear the handphone alert.Because women tend to get
very happy and excited when she receives some sort of communication
initiated by the guy, and as a way of showing her happiness, she
will respond to them immediately, if circumstances allow.
Takes an expert
to be able to catch this, plus you have to be standing close enough
for you to notice these subtle changes in your girl's eyes (doesn't
distance also tells you how special you are in her heart?). But
it is an almost undeniable and unconcealable fact that one's pupils
will get dilated when they see something they fancy, be it a person
or an object. Hence the phrase "eyes light up"!
positively to your accidental touches.
is it an accidental brush or a deliberate caress, if she's into
you, chances are she won't shove your hand away or shrug her shoulder
or whichever body part that comes into contact with you physically.
In fact, she may subconsciously or purposely brush you with her
hands or arms to create more intimacy. Women are very sensitive
to touch. So if a man whom she'd like to keep a distance touches
her, all her senses get fired up putting her on an high alert mode,
so she can prevent any of such "accidents" from happening. On the
contrary, if she has fond feelings for you, then not only will she
not push you away, she may even respond with a very shy and coy
smile. Keep your eyes open guys!
Test her feelings
towards you by moving towards her. If she likes you, it's either
she remain where she is, or she may also nudge a little bit forward
to close the distance between both of you.
But if she take
a step backwards, be warned. Maybe she needs a little bit more time
to get used to your presence. This could be due to several reasons,
family background and upbringing is one, or she is just too shy,
or she do not like you enough to allow you to go into her personal
zone as she sees this as an invasion of her private space rather
than a 'declaration' of love.
When she takes
a step back, guys, please remember not to take another step forward.
You do not want to start a cha-cha dance in the middle of the office
with you doing the "chasing" and she "escpaing". It sure looks comical
if you tape it down and fast-forward it! Can you see the picture?
make it tonight, But ...
Now, you have
to pay attention if there is a "but" at the end of her rejection
to a date. If she continuously rejects your date, without giving
any reason or suggesting an alternative time and date, then chances
are she is hinting you that you do not stand a chance and please
stop bugging her.
But, yes, that's
when the "but" comes in very handy as a glaring clue to you, if
she suggests meeting up on another day, this means she wants to
go out with you but she really couldn't make herself available at
your preferred time and day.
One thing to
note though. There are some girls who will never ever ask a guy
out, even if its a platonic guy friend for a cup of coffee. So,
if your special lady is one of this species, she may not suggest
an alternate meeting time. But, what makes the difference between
she liking you or not, is when you suggest meeting up another day,
she will agree if she can make it. The latter will never agree as
she finds it a waste of time.
You are given
Ok, this may
not happen all the time, but on certain occassions when you asked
her out and it clashes with a prior appointment she has made with
her friend, when she did not outright reject you but instead says
she needs to check with her friend and will revert to you later,
this means she would rather spend the time with you than her friends.
And if this doesn't translate to her feeling something special for
you, then what is!
If this girl
is into you, then whenever you appear, she may do a last minute
check on her attire, or flip her hair, or check her, eg, nails.
In terms of body language, we call this little action "preening".
Men and women alike, when they see someone whom they like, they
will adjust their shirt (for men) and tidy their hair (for girls)
just so that they can make a wonderful impression on you.
smiling, then ...
it means she
likes you! And she is enjoying your company very much! But if she
is keeping quiet most of the time, or not laughing much while you
guys are on a date, then maybe you aren't her Mr Right. Either that,
or she is simply too tired and stressed out due to some problems.
In order not
to jump to the wrong conclusions, it's best that you check it out
with her. Ask her gently if she's feeling upset or down? Is there
any problems in her work, or family? A man's sensitivity and gentleness
can melt even the iciest woman's heart.
the above 8 tips with caution and at your own discretion, as I've
explained before it may not apply to all girls, though in most general
cases, they come in pretty useful and accurate as a benchmark.
When all things
fail, remember, just be honest and frank - ask the girl how she
feels towards you. Sincerity is the best way and tool a guy can
ever have to win a girl's heart. This secret recipe works even for
a 80-year old grandma.
About The Author
Tay IIng is one of Singapore's pioneer in dating industry. The ex-owner
of her dating agency Two To Tango, she now devotes her time for
singles to have a successful dating life and couples to develop
loving and lasting relationships through her blog http://www.Kloudiia.com,
seminars and book.
For all the love tips and advices, go to http://www.Kloudiia.com.
Or if you have a question for the Dating Specialist, go to http://www.AskKloudiia.com
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is full of ups and downs and we are constantly striving
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decisions that would help them in his or her life's achievement.
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