I received a request to blog about my thoughts and sentiments on this subject. What does it mean when a woman says “It’s too late” to a man? Is she telling her man that she has given up all hope?

Sounds like it, doesn’t it? Well, it does have that connotation. And when a woman says it’s too late, usually you can take those words literally – meaning it is too late.

Commonly, this is a response to a certain action, word or behaviour by her partner, and when these 3 words come out of your woman’s mouth, to conclude that your relationship is dead sounds harsh and extreme, but it may indeed reflect her intentions, especially if the circumstances are grave enough.

A wife will stop complaining about anything only when she has told you umpteen times in the past, and you have chosen to ignore them. As a husband, do not think that you have won the battle by making your wife shut up, because by shutting up, it also means that she already realised no matter what else she says is no longer going to matter, to you and most importantly to her. So, when she stops her complaining, she also clams up, and hardens her heart.

If you still do not realise the difference in her affections and behaviour towards you, then you are in a way killing your own marriage.

How then can you, as a husband or boyfriend, turn the situation around when she says “It’s too late” in response to you asking a question or saying something that once used to matter a lot to her but no longer does? Well, it depends on how much this person and this relationship means to you. It’s still not too late, if her heart is not with someone else.

All it means is you have to really spend a lot of effort to make her open up again, and to share with you what she really feels. Usually, it is not the words she say that is the problem. For example, if your wife says you have been spending too much on buying unnecessary things, it doesn’t mean she wants to control your expenditures. It probably means she likes to be involved in the decision making of the buying process, and maybe she too has some things she’s had her eyes on but was putting on hold due to the family budget, and there you are happily splurging?

Listen hard to what she says. Listen harder to what she is not saying. And the only way to find out is by asking her, gently. You may need to probe many times before she’s willing to tell you, especially if she has been attempting to communicate to you for thousands of times and not getting any reciprocal attention. How to ask her so you can find out the real answer? Well, secret is, appeal to her emotions and feelings.

Women need to feel secured, loved and appreciated. By taking care of her feelings first before your own needs, you can be sure that she will reciprocate much much more to your needs and give you even more freedom than you can ever imagine.

Like I said, it’s never too late if she is not in love with someone else. All it takes is lots of patience and love on your side to let her know she is still the one you love the most and she is the most important person in your life.



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