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I promised here is the letter I was going to send you. I got your
letter you sent to me as well. I’ve just got to say that you are
wrong. You will not just fade away from me. Not now, not ever. That
is why I still wear your necklace. Even though my life has changed
my link with you still remains as strong as ever. I know I have
given it to you. But I still wear it.
last day we were together was very painful to me. Just as something
inside me was returning to life you had to leave. I needed more
time–to make you see– There was always something in the way. I couldn’t
find the right words. We couldn’t be alone together. We didn’t have
the time. We had other responsibilities. To have something so precious
slip through my fingers yet again. There was nothing I could do.
Except give you a part of me that has always been yours to keep.
you turned to leave me you turned me to stone. I do not know how
long I was there just staring at the doorway. I wanted to run after
you. But I just stood there until I saw my reflection in the doorway.
You were gone.
started to walk back to my room. Past all the noise and laughter
of people I came through them like a shadow. Only silence greeted
me as I opened the door. Once again I regressed into that dead emotion
that froze me in my tracks. My heart was hurting. It was all I could
do to keep in together. All my feelings which I thought were neatly
contained in a part of my heart came to life. They spilled out into
my being and I relived every moment I spent with you. Images of
us flitted through my mind like errant thoughts. Of us in the elevator
and how you slowly leaned against me. The tender kiss we shared
on the carpark. How you looked when you were angry.
could not stay in that room any longer. I needed to walk. So I got
up and went off into the night. As I got out of the hotel I passed
by the lake where the fountains would have been playing. It was
late and only a strange sort of Italian ballad was playing in the
background. The breeze was soft and slightly cold. The moonlight
reflected on the surface of the lake. The smell of flowers behind
me. It was a perfect setting for two lovers. I looked around but
aside from the traffic moving on the streets the balcony was empty
of people. So I paused and put my hand on the cold stone railing.
I listened to the music. It was a male tenor and even though I did
not understand the words, it seemed to be singing of indescribable
loss and heartache. I closed my eyes and fought that emotion that
threatened to overwhelm me yet again.
something strange happened to me on that balcony that night. After
a while I knew I was going to lose that battle anyway instead of
fighting it I embraced it. I just let it come into me and allowed
myself to feel. And as the music reached its climax you were there
with me. I could feel your presence next to me. It was a step into
madness I know but for this one night you would be with me. I know
all of it was in my mind and imagination but it was enough. For
this one night I would indulge in it and be with you as I never
could have done.
together we walked on into the night. We reached the bright lights
of the strip with my arm around your waist. We passed by Paris and
then the Venetian. We talked of many things both past and present.
As we passed the Mirage and into its dense vegetation, I stole a
kiss from you. We reached Treasure Island and by the soft glow of
the lamps and the chirping of crickets we talked of the future.
The bright lights of Circus Circus greeted us as we went further.
It has been a while since I returned to this place. Not much has
changed since I last saw it in my childhood. I make a joke about
clowns and you laugh that impish laugh of yours that could always
make me smile.
we found a little restaurant. A Korean place which seems to be open.
We enter and find ourselves a table. It is an old place. The old
wooden tables and the rough walls tells me that it’s not fancy.
But it is cozy. The restaurant is dimly lit...We order our food
and sit down to talk. The starters arrive in several small bowls
filled with various pickled vegetables. Strange–but we are adventurous
and try them out. You talk about something or other but I’m not
listening. Merely looking at you makes me happy. The waiter must
have looked down and seen a strange man who seems to be smiling
at an empty chair. The main course arrives and without any warning
your image disappears. Try as I might I could not summon you back
to fill that empty chair that is just across from me. I am alone
again. The food turns to ash in my mouth and cold as I pick at it
with my fork. I eat what I can and pay the bill.
the weather has turned colder. Colder still that you are not with
me. So I rush back to my hotel. Everything is just a blur of darkness,
light, and colour. I make it to the lobby. A faint hope lights my
heart and I look around. Maybe you have returned and your are waiting
for me. But no, you are not there. Just the cleaners who glance
at me and then return to their work. So I returned to my room. Nothing
has changed. I look into the mirror and I see the haunted look in
my eyes. The walk has achieved its purpose. I am tired. I’m ready
to sleep. So I lie down and pull one of the pillows to me. I hug
it tightly and close my eyes. I drift off to sleep–but my dream
I don’t know what the future will bring. One thing I do know that
our bond will never be broken. I just now realize it–No matter how
many loves you and I will have in this lifetime–
do not think I was unhappy when I was with you. Being with you once
again was the most wonderful experience I could have. Our misadventures
even more so. We always seem to be so unlucky–but we always come
out smiling in the end. Please do not belittle how deeply I feel
for you. My feelings will never fade. Even now I feel a pain in
my heart. But it is alright. For every twinge of pain I feel is
just another moment spent with you. It is worth it.
So once again winter has come to my heart. I must shed my leaves
and wait for spring to come. I wait for you to return–
One day it will be–all my love,
August 8, 2002
by sharon d.
and Sharon carried their long distance relationship for seven years.
He was 19 years old from London, England and she was 17 years old
from Los Angles, California when their romance started in 1991.
Sharon received dozens of love letters from Michael throughout the
years they were together. Michael proposed to Sharon during their
brief interlude in Las Vegas but she refused because he was engaged
to someone else. This is his goodbye letter to her. He was married
Goes out to the one I love My Rogy
come back home.
I wish to see you if only for one kiss.
If only for 10 min\'s. I want to give you love this holiday season.
I feel so alone. I want to tell you how much you mean to me.
Come back to me.