Art of Seduction
by Sharon Jacobsen
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Art of Seduction
a question of subtle strategy with one ultimate goal - to have sex
The desire for
sex is powerful; for some it can be as powerful as the need to eat
and breath. Seduction is the road we take to achieve sexual satisfaction.
While the ultimate
goal is to have sex, there are lots of smaller goals that need to
be reached along the road to the sexual surrender of our chosen
For some, the
thrill of seduction lies in the chase rather than the conquest.
The excitement of wanting and pursuing someone can give a sense
of satisfaction in itself. For others, the electric thrill comes
from knowing that another person's sexual attentions are focused
on them. Those who thoroughly enjoy the chase are generally people
with plenty of self-confidence and their confidence increases the
likelihood of success.
Those who are
less confident usually find seduction far more difficult. How can
you convince a member of the opposite sex to fancy you if you see
yourself as being unattractive?
that you choose the right person to seduce. This is more a matter
of instinct than anything else but most of us endeavour to make
conversation, or at least some eye contact, with a potential partner
who we consider to be our equal on the scale of physical appeal.
sought out your 'prey' you need to decide whether the time and/or
situation is right for seduction. If the object of your passion
is somebody you see on a regular basis, the time/place being wrong
may very well add to the thrill. If you're getting the right feedback,
the knowledge that the other person is interested but that you can't
do anything about it just yet can increase the feelings of arousal
But how do you
know that he's interested? The best clues come from reading body
language. Non-verbal signals are far better indicators of how a
person feels about you than anything they may actually say verbally.
Those with an open posture are usually more available than those
who stand with their arms crossed. The eyes are the biggest give-away
when it comes to seduction. If he returns your gaze, and especially
if he holds eye contact with you longer than is usually acceptable,
then the chances are you're on to a winner. Trust your instincts.
You'll 'feel' whether he's interested or not. Small gestures and
tone of voice tell us a lot about how the other person feels about
Flirt. Did I
really need to mention that? Flirting is used in two ways. We flirt
with others to remind our partner that we still need to be wooed
by him, but when used for seduction, it's a means of keeping the
other person interested and aroused as well as letting them know
that they are unlikely to be rejected. Men, who are generally the
pursuers, are highly dependent on women's signals to reassure them
that they are 'onto something'. Playing hard-to-get isn't particularly
attractive to men unless you're sending out enough signals to assure
him that it really is just a game and that you are indeed 'gettable'.
Let him know that the chase will most likely be worth it in the
made contact with him, you'll need to let him know where the encounter
is likely to be heading. People have very different ideas of what
sex should be so it's important that you both know that you're looking
for the same things. This doesn't mean that you should just blurt
out "I'm a dominatrix, how d'ya fancy being whipped?" or anything
else quite as obvious. You can if you really must, and you never
know, it might just work, but in general the subtle approach is
more likely to get you what you want. Men generally take the lead
in this area, asking questions and trying to access whether you'd
make a satisfactory sex partner. Follow his lead. The questions
probably won't be direct (depending upon the man), but they will
be based around 'self-disclosure'. He tells you some, you tell him
some. People typically discuss sex in a light-hearted, abstract
manner when accessing a potential partner, testing each other in
a non-committal way.
Now that you're
speaking you'll need to sustain his interest. Two people who've
found each other through physical attraction may not have the right
chemistry to move along the road of seduction once mouths have been
opened. Look for signs of acceptance or rejection. If you pick up
on any signs of rejection, don't waste your time on something that
is very unlikely to happen, no matter how much you fancy him. There
are plenty more available males about just waiting to be seduced.
If you're still
doing fine and the signals are good, it's time to move onto the
final yielding. One of you must surrender. In all probability it
will be you, because even if you initialised the seduction, he will
probably have taken over the role of pursuer somewhere along the
line. The roles of 'hunter' and 'prey' have been decided through
thousands of years of evolution, and usually fall naturally into
place. Surrender and enjoy!
grew up in East London but moved to Norway at the age of 19, returning
to England in 1998. She now lives in Cheshire with her partner and
two of her three children. Besides writing, she is currently studying
Social Science with The Open University, runs a web site where women
in the UK can meet other women for platonic friendship www.friendsyourway.co.uk,
potters in her garden, knits and reads everything she comes over.
You can contact her at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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