Dating – It’s Not For Geeks
by Sara Blackmore
like to share with us your own article about online dating,
you can submit them here at our Love
Dating – It’s Not For Geeks
Six months ago
an old school friend and I were chatting over coffee, putting the
world to rights as women do. She was bemoaning her lack of success
in meeting the “right sort” of men. I asked her if she had tried
using an internet dating service, and the look of horror that spread
across her face gave the instant answer – of course not! Internet
dating, she informed me, was for the sad, desperate, geeky or freaky.
Sadly this type
of response is typical of people from all walks of life. Why sadly?
Because those who instantly dismiss such services are missing out
on a great opportunity.
argument for not using the internet to meet someone is that it is
not natural. So what is natural? Where have people traditionally
met their husbands, wives, lovers, and friends? Statistically, over
the past 50 years the most common place for meeting ones spouse
has been the workplace. This is hardly surprising given the ever
increasing amounts of time most people are finding themselves working.
Other common meeting places include bars, nightclubs, and parties,
and some lucky few meet their lifetime partner early in life at
college or university. However, the workplace remains number one
for long term relationships.
The reason for
this is simple; lasting long term relationships are usually born
out of robust friendships, and strong friendships form over time.
Spend eight hours a day five days a week with the same people and
you will get to know them very well. It is not uncommon in the modern
world to spend more time with your colleagues than with your family,
an unfortunate but true fact of life.
amounts of time we as a society are spending working is leaving
less time to spend in social environments outside of the office,
which means less opportunity to meet new people. So if you don’t
meet someone at work, where else is there? Enter the dating agency.
are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The
internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together
in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years. However,
it offers some unique advantages for those seeking a partner. Firstly
it has lowered the cost of running a dating service, and that means
agency dating has been opened up to a much wider audience. Secondly,
it has broken down geographical barriers in a way that off-line
agencies could never hope to. This is an important point because
not everyone is looking for their future husband or wife on their
doorstep. Indeed not everyone is looking for a future husband or
wife; the explosion in internet dating has made it easier than ever
to find new friends and correspondents across the globe.
These two points
mean that some of the bigger agency sites now have in excess of
three million members, and literally thousands of new members joining
every day. With that many people, if you are serious about finding
a partner, lover, or a friend, then the internet is simply too big
a resource to ignore. And ‘net dating is safe too; there is no need
to exchange real names or even email addresses until you feel you
know someone well enough. All the services allow you to block unwanted
communication and so there is no fear of being pestered. Used sensibly,
internet dating can be safer than almost any other way of meeting
has revolutionised the way we work, shop, conduct our financial
affairs, and entertain ourselves. To use it as a medium for meeting
new people is a logical step in our fast changing world.
After that chat
six months ago, I convinced my friend to post a profile on a dating
site, she didn’t even have to pay anything to do so unless she wanted
to start sending messages to other members of the site. Now I never
see her because she is spending all of her time with her new man.
She didn’t find him in five minutes like some of the sales pitches
would like you to believe, but then six months ago she didn’t expect
to find him at all.
Blackmoore is a relationship counselor and regular contributor to
The Dating WebReview. She lives in London, England with her husband
and two children. The Dating WebReview provides independent reviews
of internet dating services, as well as insightful articles, tips,
and advice. www.dating-webreview.com
little journal of love is now available for your free download.
Back to Online Dating Page