by Skye Thomas
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Pen Pal Romance
We have all
heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen pals that wrote to
each other for years without meeting because they lived hundreds
or even thousands of miles apart. Some friend of a friend set them
up as pen pals or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away
at war. They exchanged a few pictures and spent countless hours
drafting letters back and forth, baring their hearts and souls to
each other. Without ever dating, they fell in love. When one could
eventually travel across the distance to finally meet the other,
they both knew immediately that this was indeed the one they'd spend
the rest of their life with. The physical attraction was every bit
as strong as the emotional attraction they had felt for each other.
It's a classic story that's existed as long as there's been a postal
system for delivering the letters between would be lovers.
Today we have
an Internet version of the same thing. People go to these dating
sites to find love. It seemed a bit weird at first like most things
that are new and different, but eventually we became used to the
idea. Is it really any different than meeting in any other manner?
You still have to weed through the riffraff. You still have people
presenting themselves as something other than what they really are.
You still have crooks and cheats, predators. And you still have
honest real folks looking for true love. You still have single parents
worried that people won't accept their kids as part of a package
deal. You still have married folks looking for a way to cheat on
their partners. The only real difference is how fast the system
works. You can weed through a heck of a lot of less than desirable
matches really fast and you don't even have to waste time or money
on dinner and movies, or on babysitters and a new dress.
It's my hope
that you would take your time with the ones who do seem promising.
When you find a profile that seems interesting, don't rush through
the process. Sure, a lot of people say that the eyes are the windows
to the soul and that you need to meet in person to get a real feel
for each other. And there is a lot of truth to that. Ultimately
you do have to meet in person to determine if there's any type of
chemistry between you or not. It's not something that can be logically
determined You feel it or you don't and you won't know until you
meet them face to face. But what about those old pen pal stories?
They fell in love without it being about sexual attraction. When
we meet face to face with someone that we are physically attracted
to, it's human nature to want to speed up the process so that we
can get to the really good stuff! I'm thinking that if we took more
time in the passing notes back and forth portion before actually
meeting face to face, then we'd be more inclined to fall for the
person inside rather than for the physical beauty that can be so
blinding to the truth about people. We all know someone who's been
completely consumed by a hot passionate attraction for someone who
was so incredibly wrong for them. It takes forever for them to open
their eyes and see the sexy person for what they really are. Please
don't think that I'm saying that all good looking people are bad
relationships waiting to happen. I just don't want you to confuse
sexual attraction with real intimacy.
If you're just
looking to get laid, then by all means disregard this article! It's
not written for you. If you're looking to find that once in a lifetime
incredible love, then why not take the extra time to do it right?
Why not agree to write emails back and forth for a while before
meeting in person? Chances are you've already seen their picture
on the matchmaker's web site. Make up fun questionnaires for each
other to fill out. Ask them all sorts of interesting questions about
themselves like 'if you could invite four people to dinner regardless
of what time in history they lived or died, who would it be and
why?' Ask them what their number one biggest regret is in life.
Ask them what their number one most embarrassing moment in life
is. Ask them what their number one best shining moment was. Ask
them if they felt loved as a child. Ask them if they have felt loved
as an adult. What is their next wild adventure in life going to
be? Have fun really getting to know each other before you meet in
person. Have a real bond based on more than the fact that you both
like moonlit walks on the beach and want to someday have children.
When you do finally meet, you won't suffer those uncomfortable silences
either, you'll have shared laughs and have plenty to talk about.
You'll already be real friends.
So many people
put in their profiles that they only want to meet people that are
close to home, 50 miles, 100 miles, etc. Why not reach out across
the globe. Why not find new pen pals to write to? Even if you never
fall in love, you've gained a new friend and the experience of feeling
connected to others. Who knows maybe your soulmate is just across
the ocean. Perhaps they're waiting for a note from you in their
inbox. Perhaps you'll become one of those wonderful love stories
worth telling your grandchildren about. "Yep, your grandmother and
I wrote back and forth for a year before I finally saved up enough
money to fly over and meet her. And let me tell you, the first time
I laid eyes on her I knew that she was the only one for me. She
was well worth the wait!"
2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical
approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality,
metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting.
After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently
enjoying working from home in her pajamas.
Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net
to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of
her books. Or you can email her at: Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net
little journal of love is now available for your free download.
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