You Really Trust The Person You Are Dating Online?
by Alan Prince
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Can You Really
Trust The Person You Are Dating Online?
Heather is a
42 year old American lady.Divorced with two children,she decided
to try online dating to possibly get a new partner.
She signed up
with one of the popular dating sites and set up a profile.The anonymity
and security of online dating appealed to her and she hoped it would
work out for her.
In a matter
of days, she was contacted by a man who also claimed to be looking
for a love relationship.The man was handsome,also divorced and in
his mid-forties. He claimed to be an engineer living in the United
States, but was sent on an assignment by his company to Nigeria.
They began to
chat and exchange mails, and soon began a relationship online.He
sent flowers to her from time to time, sent poems everday, called
her up twice a day. Heather felt that she had finally found the
man of her dreams. Surely,this was the perfect relationship that
she had wanted since her divorce. Here was a man who was caring
and who showed it. She readily agreed to his proposal when he called
her over the phone and asked her to marry him. They began to make
plans to get married as soon as he returned to the United States.
all was going on well with their plans until he made a distress
call.He had been involved in a road accident and had been hospitalized.
Could she help out with some money to pay the bills? Well,she did
help. A sequence of events followed afterwards. Weeks later, she
discovered that the man she had fallen in love with was not the
real person she had thought he was.She had just been taken by the
newest form of online scams that is just showing up--the romance
or dating scam.
She was heartbroken.She
had lost thousands of dollars to this man.She was behind on her
mortgage and was in debt to the bank. But painful as the experience
was,it could not be compared to the emotional pain that she had
to go through.
It would take
many months before she would get over the whole experience, which
she described as a nightmare. Heather is not the only one that is
a victim of this new form of scam.Many thousands of people online
are losing millions of dollars monthly to these scams. But due to
the secretive nature of the internet, most people that have been
scammed this way are either too embarassed or ashamed to talk about
their experience. In a particular finding, 145 men and women reported
that they lost over $1 million in two months in 2005. In that same
finding, thousands of people refused to disclose any information
about their losses.
The worst aspect
of these scams has been the emotional pains the victims have had
to go through. Many of the victims I talked with reported that it
took them many months before they could get back to their normal
A lady told
me that she cried for many nights after she realized that she had
been scammed. She had thought she had the ideal lover,and had become
so emotionally attached to him. Realizing that it was all a lie
was devastating to her. The fact that she had been in deep love
with a fake person was what pained her the most.
This is the
same experience as many of the victims I related with have had.The
effects of the scams have had so much of a devastating effect on
them all. Medical doctors, lawyers,paralegals and other professionals
have been known to lose money to these scams just as housewives,
students, factory workers and other low-income earners have. The
scams are no respecter of status or race. Not even religious people
have been spared from this growing menace.
Till this moment,
thousands of people are out there trying to get over these scams.
But even as those who have been scammed are trying to get on with
their lives, many more thousands are being set up for a scam right
has come to stay with us all, and many people have found true love
through this avenue. Online dating has produced many successful
love stories. It is a medium that if properly used, with the right
education, can be a means of bringing love into the lives of many.
is apparent that it is also increasingly being used for the wrong
purposes. Given the high success rate of the scams however, the
best way to deal with them is to educate yourself about them.
You need to
learn how to separate the wheat from the chaff. Knowing the methods
that the scammers use will help you not to fall for their antics.
You will be able to know what to do to protect yourself and still
be able to date succesfully. The more educated you are, the more
you can prevent the scams from happening to you.
Prince actually went behind the scenes to research these scams.His
findings from months of interaction with both the scammers and their
victims are available at http://www.elovedeceptions.com.
little journal of love is now available for your free download.
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